“My 3-year-old didn’t get me a birthday present this year. Yeah. And I’ve known him for a couple years. So I’m not talking to him.”
More from Jim Gaffigan
“GOALS FOR MORNING: Run Clean up Hang w/ kids Workout Write Get organized Respond to emails…”
“Sometimes my phone rings, I look at it and I think: ‘This person better be calling to tell…”
“We’re totally equals. I mean, when we rent a car, I won’t let her drive. And that’s not…”
“My wife is amazing. Even in the most stressful moments, I will catch her looking at me…”