“I gotta be honest with you. I know I seem like a real gigolo, but actually I’m a little nervous because I’m a total virgin.”
More from Joe Wengert
“You're getting your hair pubed?”
“You sing like a goddamn angel, and you got the heart of a champion.”
“My whole body is tense, like Joe Biden is whispering a dirty joke in my ear.”
“I gotta withhold my seed for the safety of mankind.”