“Chidi: I just want to have a little chat about your progress. In the last homework assignment, I asked you to examine the ethics of 'Les Misérables,' in which a man steals a loaf of bread to feed his starving family. Would you please read your first paragraph here?
Michael: 'Everyone in this story sucks and belongs in the Bad Place. The thief is bad. The officer chasing him is bad. All the whiny prostitutes are bad. Plus, they're all French, so they're going to the Bad Place automatically.'
Chidi: Do you see how you're already off topic?
Michael: Chidi, I've been around a long time like, all of it. But I know for a fact that if you steal a loaf of bread, it's a negative 17 points, 20 if it's a baguette because that makes you more French.”
More from Josh Siegal
“Michael: So to prepare to meet all of you, I studied the human concept of friends. I even…”
“Don't worry about me. I'm like a biscotti. People act like I'm this sweet cookie, but I'm…”