“I once had a guy tell me that he doesn’t go down on women because he’s a germaphobe. Are you kidding me? How am I supposed to relax and feel good about myself after you basically called my vagina dirty? It’s so much more of a turn-on to be with someone who’s kind of gross—someone who wants to smell my dirty underwear and lick my teeth and spit in my mouth. Like, I’m in my 30s now—I’m too old to date a guy who won’t kiss me after I give him a blow job.”