“[as Abraham Lincoln giving the Gettysburg Address] When I almost scored with four chicks seven years ago, this one chick's father brought forth upon me a prostitute. Huh-huh. Because some dudes just weren't created equal. Huh-huh.”
More from Kristofor Brown
“I am The Great Cornholio. I need TP for my Bunghole.”
“Butt-head: [choking] Beavis! Beavis! I'm choking! Beavis: Yeah, so. What do you want me to…”
“[watching a Violent Femmes video] I don't understand what the big deal is about breaking…”
“[laughs while reading a label of superglue] It says "Use on wood."”