Quotes tagged ‘Prostitute’

“What do you suppose Jack Donnelly did? Con Man? Jewel Thief? Gigolo? Let’s find out.”

— Robert Murphy, Zoe Brogan, Felicity Jones, imdb.com

“Sometimes it's not the youngest or the richest clients you want or the ones you have most in common with. For me the perfect partner is one where I never have to be myself.”

— Lucy Prebble, Hannah 'Belle' Baxter, Billie Piper, imdb.com

“Rose: [as she looks through the sketches in his portfolio] You liked this woman. You used her several times. Jack: Well, she has beautiful hands, see? Rose: I think you must have had a love affair with her. Jack: No no no, just with her hands. [turns page] She was a one-legged prostitute. See? Ah, s…”

— James Cameron, Jack Dawson, Leonardo Dicaprio, imdb.com

“It's like if you go to a prostitute, and the prostitute goes around and tells everybody that you got a small penis. Not that I've ever been to a prostitute... not that I have a small penis.”

— Larry David, Larry David, Larry David, imdb.com

“Well, it isn’t a homecoming until someone calls you a puta, right?”

— Tanya Saracho, Lyn, Melissa Barrera, imdb.com

“Kirsten: Maybe you guys can make peace this weekend. Sandy: Okay. Oh, no, no wait. I can't. Kirsten: Why? Sandy: I'm still Jewish. Just gettin' it out of my system. I promise. Kirsten: I wonder what his new girlfriend's like. Sandy: I am sure she is very well paid. And on fire.”

— Erica Messer, Debra J. Fisher, Josh Schwartz, Sandy Cohen, Peter Gallagher, imdb.com

“About a week ago I accidentally slept with a prostitute.”

— Aaron Sorkin, Sam Seaborn, Rob Lowe, imdb.com

“[as Abraham Lincoln giving the Gettysburg Address] When I almost scored with four chicks seven years ago, this one chick's father brought forth upon me a prostitute. Huh-huh. Because some dudes just weren't created equal. Huh-huh.”

— Kristofor Brown, Butt-head, Mike Judge, imdb.com

“Stan: Chef, what's a prostitute? Chef: Dagnabbit children! How come every time you come in here, you gotta be asking me questions that I shouldn't be answering?! 'Chef, what's a clitoris?' 'What's a lesbian, Chef?' 'How come they call it a rim job, Chef?' For once, can't you just come in here and sa…”

— Trey Parker, Chef, Isaac Hayes, imdb.com

“A whore's life is five good years, five bad years, and then some half-dick sweat stain grinds you out like a cigarette. Like a goddamn spent cigarette.”

— Noah Hawley, Dodd Gerhardt, Jeffrey Donovan, imdb.com

“Elliot: Dr. Cox, does this shade of red make me look like a clown? Dr. Cox: No... Barbie, no. It makes you look like a prostitute that caters exclusively to clowns.”

— Tim Hobert, Perry Cox, John C. McGinley, imdb.com

“We in between heaven and hell fuck your 9 to 5, I’d rather end up dead or in jail American ninja to these obstacles No stoppin’ me, we on the move your mouth runnin’ like a prostitute’s Keep your head to yourself.”

— Mac Miller, open.spotify.com

“What am I, a prostitute? Am I your prostitute? You can’t prostitute me.”

— Sheila Jackson Lee, dailycaller.com

“What’s the difference between a prostitute and a wife? A wife accepts credit cards.”

— Unknown, tcat.tc

“Why is it so easy to find a prostitute in Islamic countries? They're always just a stone's throw away.”

— TapiocaTuesday, reddit.com

“Why do prostitutes make more money than drug dealers? Because they can wash their crack and sell it again”

— mrjoshbarnett, reddit.com

“What do you call it when a hooker farts? A prosti-toot.”

— kevbot222, reddit.com

“So I met this Prostitute and I asked for a blow job. Turns out she sucks at her job.”

— Razyboy06, reddit.com

“A man is walking down the street when he is approached by a prostitute... "For $200, I'll perform any act for you," she tells him, "provided that you can describe the act in three words." The man thinks about the offer for less than a moment and gives the woman $200. "OK, tell me what you want me to…”

— MJLD5, reddit.com