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Butt-head

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All masturbation (2)Juvenile Humor (2)Homonyms (2)Getting High (1)no child left behind (1)Anus (1)Prostitute (1)Boring (1)Threats (1)graduate (1)Spanking the Monkey (1)prostitution (1)I have been to the mountaintop (1)Wishing for Death (1)Rorschach tests (1)

From “Blood Drive”

Beavis: [sings] Don't wanna fall in mud! Butt-head: [sings] All I wanna do is sell my blood! Beavis: What do you think they pay for, like, a gallon of blood? Butt-head: Just be cool, dude! Don't take their first offer!

blood drive Negotiation

From “Door-to-Door”

Mr. Van Driessen: This is the '90s, people. A '9' upside down is a '6,' so let's turn the '90s upside down and recapture the spirit of the '60s, okay? Butt-head: Watch those flashbacks, dude.

1960s 1990s flashbacks

From “Good Credit”

[at a pet store] Do you sell any dead animals?

dead animals

From “Burger World”

Did you know, when you eat rump roast, you're eating a cow's butt?

rump roast cow's butt

From “Baby Makes Uh, Three”

I'm gonna slap you around like a redheaded stepchild!

stepchild Threats

From “Customers Suck”

[Watching a Public Image Ltd music video] Public Image Ltd.: I could be black, I could be white... Butt-head: You're WHITE.

I don't like stuff that sucks.

Sucks stuff

From “Way Down Mexico Way”

Beavis: M-80s? Butt-head: Firecrackers? [Mexican woman shrugs] Beavis: Fireworks? [Mexican woman shrugs] Butt-head: These people are stupid.

Firecrackers Stupid

From “At the Movies”

Hey, check this out. ‘For a good time, call Beavis's mom.’

Yo Mama

From “The Butt-Head Experience”

[while watching a KISS video] You know, these guys are pretty cool for a bunch of mimes.

You asswipe! I was about to have a wet dream.

asswipe wet dream

Beavis: Hey, Butt-head, do you think a man will ever land on Uranus? Butt-head: Maybe on your anus. Beavis: This chainsaw kicks ass! Pruning is cool! Butt-head: Yeah! Let's go prune some power lines!

Uranus Anus Boy Humor

From “Stewart's House”

They have all this, like, complicated stuff and it makes the TV do, like, things that look weird. It's cool. It's called "special defects".

Hey Beavis, I hear that if you fill a room with gas, and light a match, all the oxygen, like, disappears, and we'll get a killer buzz!

From “For Better or Verse”

Mr. Van Driessen: Today, we're going to explore the world of haiku. Butt-head: We're gonna explore the world of getting high? Cool! Huh huh. Mr. Van Driessen: No, Butt-head. Not ‘high, cool,’ but the ancient, Japanese, spare, haunting poetry called ‘haiku.’

haiku Getting High Japanese

From “Bedpans & Broomsticks”

The fatter they are, the fatter they fall.

Fat-Shaming

From “Babes R Us”

Hey spank your own monkey all you want, but keep your hands off mine.

masturbation Spanking the Monkey

From “Yogurt's Cool”

The more things change, the more they suck.

From “Washing the Dog”

Butt-head: Hey, Mr. Anderson, are you gonna die pretty soon? Beavis: Yeah, and leave all your money to someone? Butt-head: That would be cool.

Wishing for Death Inheritance

From “Be All You Can Be”

Sergeant: Has anybody in your family been in the service? Butt-Head: Uh, Beavis's dad was in the Navy. Sergeant: Is that so? Butt-Head: Yea. He was a seaman.

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