“I am The Great Cornholio. I need TP for my Bunghole.”

“Butt-head: [choking] Beavis! Beavis! I'm choking! Beavis: Yeah, so. What do you want me to…”

“[watching a Violent Femmes video] I don't understand what the big deal is about breaking…”

“[laughs while reading a label of superglue] It says "Use on wood."”