“It was an old cat. It died of natural causes. So get this, now she tells me that I gotta buy her a brand-new cat. I say listen, honey. First of all, it was a pretty old cat. I'm not gonna buy you a brand-new cat to replace an old dying cat. And second of all, I go out to the garbage, I find you a new cat in fifteen seconds. I say, you show me an autopsy report that says this cat died of starvation, I spring for a new cat. So she says something to me, like, uh, I dunno, get the hell out of here, and she breaks up with me.”