“Oh, spare me the sanctimonious lecture. You never cared about me. In the words of one of my actual friends: Ya basic. It's a human insult. It's devastating. You're devastated right now.”
More from Megan Amram
“I've never been more stressed out in my entire life.”
“We can do this, but we must remain emotionless. I'm talking 'Kristen Stewart on a red…”
“I'm allergic to sushi. Every time I eat more than 80 pieces, I throw up.”
“Jason: You're saying a lot of words right now, and I only know some of them, like 'rat'…”