“Yes it is true! I, Michael Scott, am signing up with an online dating service. I need a username and I have a great one. Little Kid Lover. That way people will know exactly where my priorities are at.”
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“Wouldn’t be mad If you equally distributed my freshman 15 between my boobs and my ass.”
“You think I’m some Jennifer Coolidge character?”
“Emotionally, I’m hanging D.”
“Have you seen Devi when she gets upset? She makes the Hulk look like Kermit.”