“I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member, man. I don't know how I get away with it. How'd it start anyway?
"I like my sandwiches with three pieces of bread." "So do I!"
"Well let's form a club then."
"Alright, but we need more stipulations."
"Yes we do; instead of cutting the sandwich once, let's cut it again."
"Yes, four triangles, and we will position them into a circle. In the middle we will dump chips. Or potato salad."
"Okay. I got a question for ya, how do you feel about frilly toothpicks?"
"I'm for 'em!"
"Well this club is formed; spread the word on menus nationwide."”
More from Mitch Hedberg
“Alcoholism is a disease, but it’s the only one you can get yelled at for having.”
“The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I’ll never be as good…”
“You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going…”
“I don't have a girlfriend, but I know a woman who would get really angry if she heard me…”