“So it said 'You can have this product for four easy payments of 19.95.'

I would like to have a product that was available for three easy payments, and one fuckin' complicated payment!

'We ain't gonna tell you which payment it is, but one of these payments is gonna be a bitch. The mailman will get shot to death, the envelope will not seal, and the stamp will be in the wrong denomination; good luck, fucker! The last payment must be made in wampum!'”