"SPORTS NEWS: Some people were harmed. Others screamed. Other..." — Night Vale podcast

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SPORTS NEWS: Some people were harmed. Others screamed. Others made arm gestures. A lighted screen announced empirical measures of worth.

— Night Vale podcast

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Confused? At a loss for what to do? Wow, sounds like you're human.

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Not really killing time so much as euthanizing it.

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Do you ever just sit outside at night, look up at the stars, and know basically nothing…

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At home by yourself tonight? Just look closely in the background of any mirror. You are…

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