Night Vale podcast

51 quotes

“Confused? At a loss for what to do? Wow, sounds like you're human.”

“Not really killing time so much as euthanizing it.”

“Do you ever just sit outside at night, look up at the stars, and know basically nothing about the world you live in?”

“At home by yourself tonight? Just look closely in the background of any mirror. You are most certainly not alone.”

“I'm sure everything will be fine. I'm sure of lots of things that are wrong. I'm highly fallible.”

“Be careful what you wish for, because it probably won't come true and life is mostly about expectation management.”

“See? You never needed that wand or that cape. The power to feel unfocused shame and anxiety was within you this whole time.”

“Wanna feel old? Make comparative judgments based on how long you’ve been alive versus how long younger people have been alive. Wild.”

“Missed connections: I saw you in passing once and forgot you soon after. You never even saw me. We went on to live long, full lives.”

“Today's forecast: Sunny w/ a chance that for a moment you'll feel really great about yourself & your life. Savor those moments as they come.”

“If you can't say anything nice, you could say really awful things instead. It's an option.”

“If you fear something, set it free. If it comes back, it’s probably going to kill you.”

“There's no way to avoid becoming a statistic. Just try to become a good statistic.”

“The same math that makes it almost impossible for us to be alone in the universe also makes it almost impossible we'll meet any other beings.”

“If you’re happy and you know it, you’re wanted for questioning.”

“Home is where the heart is. It’s also where the cameras and listening devices are. Also insects. Lots of insects in that home.”

“Put your money where your mouth is. Better put your keys, phone & ID in there too. Lots of pickpockets in the streets.”

“Ask your doctor why bad things happen to good people. Ask your doctor why it all has to be this way. Sob on your doctor's shoulder.”

“Seven Habits of Highly Effective People: 1 Wear dark suit & shades 2 Hide 3 Whisper into wrist 4 Nod 5 [REDACTED] 6 Use codename 7 Drive van”

“A bird in the hand could be worth your life when bargaining with the swarms of birds circling above you.”