“[Pugsley hits a bird during archery practice]
Becky: It's an American Bald Eagle!
Gary: But, aren't they extinct?
Wednesday: They are now.”
More from Paul Rudnick
“Walter Kresby: You're even better at sex, don't deny it. Joanna Eberhard: I wasn't going…”
“Morticia: My baby is ill, and my husband is dying. Oh Mama, what shall I do? Grandma:…”
“[to Gomez] I'm just like any modern woman trying to have it all. Loving husband, a family.…”
“[to Debbie] You have enslaved him. You have placed Fester under some strange sexual spell.…”