“Here's a spoiler alert. You're not a fucking hero. You're just an annoying clown dressed up as a sex toy.”
More from Paul Wernick
“It’s amazing how quickly things can go from bad to total shit storm.”
“[after his neighbor changes into a zombie] You see? You just can’t trust anyone. The first…”
“The first rule of Zombieland: cardio. When the zombie outbreak first hit, the first to go,…”
“You are like a giant cock-blocking robot, like, developed in a secret fucking government…”