“The first rule of Zombieland: cardio. When the zombie outbreak first hit, the first to go, for obvious reasons...were the fatties.”
More from Rhett Reese
“It’s amazing how quickly things can go from bad to total shit storm.”
“[after his neighbor changes into a zombie] You see? You just can’t trust anyone. The first…”
“You are like a giant cock-blocking robot, like, developed in a secret fucking government…”
“Wichita: Let’s play the quiet game. Columbus: I’ve actually been meaning to ask you, have…”