“[narrating while executing Russian criminals] My world tour brought me home to this guy: Sergei Valishnikov, but we'll get to him in a moment. 'cause I know what you're thinking: 'I'm so glad I left the kiddos at home.' But that's where you'd be wrong. That babysitter of yours is high as fuck right now. And believe it or not, Deadpool 2 is a family film. True story. And every good family film starts with a vicious murder. Bambi, The Lion King, Saw 7. [a guy on fire runs around screaming] Holy shit-pickles! That guy's on fire! That's not CGI, folks. He's actually on fire. Yeah.”
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