“Distract yourself. You gotta make money. You can’t have emotions and make money. Just keep a blank stare on your face. Do as you’re told. Then one day, you have a heart attack. If you’re lucky, you go clean.”
More from Pete Holmes
“When I was 10, I went through a phase where I couldn’t go to sleep without a Tylenol PM.”
“When I was 10, I went through a phase where I couldn’t go to sleep without a Tylenol PM.”
“When I was 10, I went through a phase where I couldn’t go to sleep without a Tylenol PM.”
“Comedy: six letters, but a thousand reasons it makes the human condition easier.”