“I’m sticking with the shoelaces. The hearts say I like you, but the shoelace part isn't too mushy.”
More from Rachel Specter
“It's what my father always told me, that if I ever tried to make something of myself, that…”
“What you've got to know is that boobs may be where it's at, but if you cut them open,…”
“Here is a list of all of the objects that I can hold under my boobs: Stapler, ten pencils,…”
“I've been practicing my humor! I watched an online tutorial!”