“What you've got to know is that boobs may be where it's at, but if you cut them open, they're just sacks of yellow fat!”Tagged: boobs, fat, Sacks
“Here is a list of all of the objects that I can hold under my boobs: Stapler, ten pencils, paperback copy of Arabian Knights, dog bone, remote control, hardback copy of Wuthering Heights.”Tagged: boobs, Hiding, Materials
“Can I get you a drink? Nothing goes better with a fine lager than a little snark.”Tagged: Drink, Snarky, Beer
“It's what my father always told me, that if I ever tried to make something of myself, that no man would want me and so, I mean, just like the minute that I try to pursue my dreams, my husband 'accidentally' falls into another woman's vagina!”Tagged: Dreams, Cheating, Sex, Marriage
“I’m sticking with the shoelaces. The hearts say I like you, but the shoelace part isn't too mushy.”Tagged: Hearts, shoelaces, mushy