“Kenneth: I don’t choose Democrat or Republican because choosing is a sin, so I just write in the Lord’s name.
Jack: That’s Republican; we count those.”
More from Robert Carlock
“I did Big Sister in college. That little girl taught me how to use tampons”
“There was a cyclone in Brooklyn last year. It destroyed two vintage T-shirt shops and a…”
“Hey, can I borrow a cup of flour? Some white kids outside want cocaine...”
“This musical is going to be a lop. which is a flop which couldn't give an F.”