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Jack Burditt

25 quotesScreenwriter · United States Of America · Male

Jack Burditt is an American producer and screenwriter who has worked on television shows like Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Frasier, 30 Rock, and The Mindy Project. He won two Emmy awards for his work on Frasier and three as an Executive Producer on 30 Rock. 2Biography Burditt is the son of the late writer and producer George Burditt and Joyce Burditt. He has one brother, Paul, and one sister, Ellen. He worked as a writer on 30 Rock and was nominated for the Writers Guild of America Award for Best Comedy Series at the February 2009 ceremony for his work on the third season. 2Filmography Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (2015-present) The Mindy Project (2013-2017) Last Man Standing (2011) 30 Rock (2006–2013) The New Adventures of Old Christine (2009–2010) Deal (2005) I'm With Her (2003–2004) Watching Ellie (2002–2003) DAG (2000–2001) Just Shoot M

All Advice (2)God (2)Peace Of Mind (1)Pooping (1)Sad (1)Naked (1)Unstable (1)Good Songs (1)breasts (1)photo filters (1)Bull Mating (1)Religious (1)Democrat (1)Faith (1)Theft (1)

From “The Friend”

Frasier: I, for one, happen to believe in the kindness of strangers. Roz: Well, I believe in the strangeness of strangers.

kindness Strangers Strangeness

From “Tracy Does Conan”

Liz: Why are you wearing a tux? Jack: It’s after 6. What am I, a farmer?

Tux Farmer Sassy Comeback fancy

From “The Baby Show”

Business doesn’t get me down. Business gets me off.

Business Gets Me Off Gets Me Down mentality

From “The Rural Juror”

Tracy: I’m gonna make you a mix tape. You like Phil Collins? Jack: I have two ears and a heart, don’t I?

Mix tape Phil Collins Music heart Good Songs

From “Fireworks”

Jack: I want you on this, Lemon. Those jokes you wrote for my Mitt Romney fundraiser, they were top-notch. Liz: Those weren’t jokes! That was an appeal for a return to common sense and decency. Jack: Well, they got big laughs.

Top-notch Jokes Common Sense Big Laughs

From “Rosemary's Baby”

Never go with a hippie to a second location.

Hippie Advice Second location Lessons

From “Subway Hero”

Kenneth: I don’t choose Democrat or Republican because choosing is a sin, so I just write in the Lord’s name. Jack: That’s Republican; we count those.

republican Democrat Lord God vote

From “The One with the Cast of Night Court”

My boy Kenneth is going through some really tough times. They’re trying to make him wear a coat that’s different than his other coat.

Hard Times Understatement

Liz: I just got a call from security. Jenna: What? That’s ridiculous! Why would I steal a file from personnel?

Guilty Conscience Theft

From “St. Valentine's Day”

I once claimed 'I am God' during a deposition.

claim God Godly Deposition

Priest: Don’t you have faith? Jack: I have faith in things I can see, and buy, and regulate. Capitalism is my religion.

Capitalism Faith Religion

Jack: Elisa is deeply religious. Liz: If I had those knockers, I’d be thanking God, too.

Religious Knockers

From “The Ones”

Elisa: I cannot marry him because of a terrible secret. Please don’t ask me what it is! Liz: I won’t. I don’t want to know... Are you a man? Elisa: Really? That’s your guess, a man? You want to see me naked? Liz: ... Sort of.

Naked Secrets

From “Kidney Now!”

Liz: We sure had quite a year. Jack: What’re you talking about? It’s May. Liz: Shh.

Jumping the Gun Premature

Here’s the reason I don’t wanna go on that family vacation: It’s a working farm. And I’m the only one whose hands are big enough to guide the bull during mating.

Farms Bull Mating

Science was my most favorite subject. Especially the Old Testament.

Science Old Testament

There you are, you stupid cracker. You know why I get a hotel room? To poop in peace. No kids bangin’ on the door, No phones ringin’. It’s my time! Every Tuesday and Thursday at 3:00 pm! I don’t know why I only go twice a week.

Cracker Anti-White Racial Slurs Pooping Peace Of Mind

From “Let's Stay Together”

When I was pageantizing, my mother told me there's only three things standing between you and winning: your breasts, and wanting it bad enough

beauty pagents mother Winning breasts Advice

From “Pilot”

Vanessa Baxter: Can you drive Eve to soccer? Mike Baxter: [scoffing] Soccer. That's just Europe's covert war for the hearts and minds of America's kids.

soccer eurocentrism Conspiracy Theories

Then only time men should be dancing is when other men are shootin' at their feet.

Men Dancing gender roles

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