“I always assumed that I would spend the perimenopausal years of my life living alone in an…”

“I've wasted so much time and energy and money, for what? For what?! You know? I'm fat. I'm…”

“Like, I'm the obesity epidemic, and you know me.”

“I know, everything is either, like a big Indiana Walmart sack, or it's, like, some cutesy…”