“First of all, don’t ever start a sentence with, ‘If I were a black father.' If you are a black father, you don’t need to say it and if you aren’t, you should probably just shut the fuck up.”
More from Seth Meyers
“Trump's been trying to pretend the problem doesn't exist.”
“You want to know what I think? Tough titties.”
“A hypnotist with pink eye is like a boxer with two broken hands.”
“She was building a pink-eye army to infiltrate all of Oregon. It was diabolical because…”