“Mike Baxter: Everybody gives these athletes a lot of slack. It doesn't do them any good. I…”

“Ed Alzate: So now you're down on your quarterback. Even though he and Mandy have a date…”

“I wrote a poem for my dad, and he hit me with a broom and then he said, this broom will do…”

“Here's why you can't trust your kids 'cause they're stupid. That's why we don't give 'em…”