“Billy Madison: Hey, I’m trying to score points with the teacher today. DON’T SCREW IT UP.
3rd Grader: I dare you to touch her boobs.
Billy Madison: Touch her boobs? That’s assault, brotha. You double-dare me?
Billy Madison: [walks down the bus to the teacher] Uhhh, Miss Vaughn, I was wondering how long there’s to get there, I need to go to the bathroom.
Veronica Vaughn: Not too long now...
[Billy pretends to fall on her, while groping her]
Billy Madison: Oh, I’m sorry! Damn bus driver drives like an animal!
Veronica Vaughn: That’s all right, Billy, why don’t you go back and sit now? [smiling] I double dare you.
Billy Madison: [Stuttering] That...tit...accident...
Veronica Vaughn: Go back to your seat now.
Billy Madison: ...I...Yes...
[looking embarrassed now]”
More from Tim Herlihy
“Billy Madison: Shampoo is better. I go on first and clean the hair. Conditioner is better.…”
“No I will not make out with you. Did ya hear that? This girl wants to make out with me in…”
“Billy Madison: [Veronica has taken Billy out of the classroom after making fun of the kid…”
“Back to school. Back to school, to prove to Dad that I’m not a fool. I got my lunch packed…”