“All I do is masturbate. I beat my dick like it owes me money. My dick got a restraining order out on my hand. I woke up one morning and my dick was dialing 911.”
More from Tracy Morgan
“Business rule number one: You should never call somebody an asshole behind they back.”
“A book hasn't caused me this much trouble since Where's Waldo went to that barber pole…”
“Tell her you want her to donate her body to science and you're science. Tell her, Jack!”
“My boy Kenneth is going through some really tough times. They’re trying to make him wear a…”