“People say what's the point in liking someone who doesn't like you back. They are right, there isn't a point. But you can't help who you like, it's not up to you. Your heart kinda just decides for you and there is no turning back once your heart makes up its mind.”
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“It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.”
“When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.”
“What do you say to a drunk who walks into a bar with jumper cables around his neck? You…”
“Why didn’t the melons get married? Because they cantaloupe.”