“If you’ve experienced sexual abuse or trauma of any kind, you may find it hard to reach orgasm during sex. Even if you rationally understand that your boyfriend would never hurt you, your body may not be fully able to relax when you’re being intimate.

One technique to help yourself feel more at ease is reminding yourself in the moment that you’re being intimate with your boyfriend. Say his name to yourself. Looking him in the eyes can also be helpful. Of course your brain knows that it’s him, but this exercise can help the more subconscious parts of your psyche start to relax.”