Don Rickles' most scathing insults

Well, I just wanted to say to you, Larry, as a favor, please don't call me anymore. I think this was an absolute waste. This will not change my life one bit. I personally feel your show is not going to make it much longer, really. You're an annoying guy sitting there in your little funny little swea…

— Don Rickles, chicagotribune.com

Larry King insults Annoying Miami Beaver

I gotta tell you, with all the nonsense and all the jokes, I want to tell you from the bottom of my heart: Merv Griffin told me he never liked you.

— Don Rickles, chicagotribune.com

Merv Griffin Mr. T.insults

Remember when you were governor and you used to walk over to my table? Now you're big and you're getting on my nerves?

— Don Rickles, chicagotribune.com

Ronald Reagan insults

Make yourself at home, Frank. Hit somebody.

— Don Rickles, chicagotribune.com

insults Frank Sinatra

Hi, dum dum….Where does it say you butt in, dummy? I'm fed up with you already, you know that? That's it, laugh it up. You're making $50 million a year and your poor parents are back in Nebraska eating locusts for dinner.

— Don Rickles, chicagotribune.com

insults Anti-Rural Nebraska Johnny Carson

Marty...somebody get a phone book so you can see me. Forty million jobs in show business, I got a midget to direct me.

— Don Rickles, chicagotribune.com

Martin Scorsese Height-Shaming

We kid about great stars such as you Bob, why? Because you're old and washed up.

— Don Rickles, chicagotribune.com

insults Age-Shaming

They warned me what a serious guy De Niro is….They warned me not to make jokes. So the third day of shooting, I looked him straight in the face and told him: 'I can't work with you. You can't act.' The guy fell on the floor. He didn't stop laughing for 18 weeks. Scorsese fell on the floor too, but h…

— Don Rickles, chicagotribune.com

Robert Deniro insults Casino Martin Scorsese

K WWW K K&MMWWMMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM&&K K && && K KKKKKKK WW KK WWW & &MWWWWMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMM&&KKK K& KKKKK KKKKK KK K KK WWW K &MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMM&&&&K KK K&K KKK&&&&KKK KKKKKKKKKK K KK MWWK KKMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM&&&& MKK KKKKKK&KKKK&&&KKKKKKK&&&KK WW KKKK WWK &M& MWWMM&MWWWWWWWWWWMWWWWWWWWMWM&KK K K &K KK KK KKK&&&&KK KKK&&KKK KM KKKK KM &WM& K&MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMM&K & KKKK K KKK&&K& KK&&KK MW KK K K&&MMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMK &KK K K&&&&K KKKKK&&K&&KK KKK K KK&K&&MMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM&&M&&&&&& &K K&&&&&K KKKK&&&&&KK WW K KKK& K&&&K&MMWWMWWWWWWWWMMWWWWWWWW&&&&KKK&K K& K&&&&K KKKKK&&&&&KKK WM KKKKKK KKKK &MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMMM&& & K&&KKK KKKK&&&&&&&&&KKK KKKK WM KK KKKKKKKKK K KK &&MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM&&&& & KKK KK K&MM&&&&&&KKKKKKKKK K WM KK K KK K K &&WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW&KWM& WWWWM &K K KK K&&&&&KKKKKKK KKKKK KK K KK K &MWMMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW& KK MWW MKKKK KK&&KK KKKK KKKKKK KKKKK KKKKK K KMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMMWWWWWWWWWW KWMWWM& W KKKKKKK&&&&KK K K KKKK KKKK K K KK&KK K MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW&WWWWWWM K& WMWWWWW W &&&&KKK&&K&KKK&&KKKK KKK K KKKK&&K K&WWWWWWWMWWM &WWWWMK WWWWWW&WK&&&KK K KK&&&&&K KMMW K &MWWWW&& &WWWWW&W& &KK K KK&&MMMMK WWWWW MMWM &WWWWWK M WWWWW W &&K KK&MMWMK M&W W &WWWWWKKW & &M& WWWW&WW &&&K KK&&K&M&K WM K WW KW KWWWWW&&MWM &WWWW& & K&&& &WW WWK&&& KKKK KK WWW KWWWWWWW&MWWW MWWWW&M&KMKK KMMMMMWMM &WW W K&&K K&K K WW MM KMWWWW&KK&M&WWWWWWMWWWWWWWWWW&K WW&W K&&K KKKKKK W &WWW MMWWMMK KKMWWWWMKK K&WWWWMM&&WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW& WWMW &&& KKKK W M KWWWWWM M&WWWWWMWWWWMM& K WWWWWWMM&WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW& WWMWW &&&K KK&K K W MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW& K&WWWWWWMMMMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW& MWWWWK&MM& K&&KK WW KWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW &MWWWWWWM&&MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMWWMK &WWWM&MWW& KK W WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM KMWWWWWWM&&M&WWWWWWWWWWWWWWM&& KW W&MWWM WMMMWWWWWWWWWWWWWW KMWWWWWWM&&&MMWWWWWWWWWWWWW&K && W&WWMK K&WWWWWWWWWWWWWW K KMWWWWWWM&MWMWM&MWWWWWWWWMM KM MWW& KKKKKKK KKWWWWWWWWWWWWM MMK &WWWWWWWWWWWM&WW MWWWMMMM &&KMWWWM KKKKK MWWWWWWWWWWMW& K&M&&WWWWWWWWW&K WWWW& &MM&&K W&MWWW& KKK KK MMWWWWWWWMMWWM K&MW&&&K WWWWWWWW M&MWWM K&&&&&&&&K MWWWWWK WWWWW WWWW& MWMWWM KK&&&&&&&&K MMM& KW&MWMK & WWWW& &&&MMMMMM&&& && M M K&WM & &KWWWM K&&M&&&MMMM&K &M M KMMW K& WMMM& KW K MWW&

.: ,., .: . , . .::,., , , ::,., : : ,:, , . . : : ,,. , , ,. : ... , , :, : ,: .. , , : : :: :, :: . , .,.: , . ::, : , : ...:,:::: ., :::: , ..., , .,:,., : :::,: , ...: ... , : ::::: :. ..., : .. ,.. .,,: : :::::: :. ..., .. ,. .,:: : : , : :::::: :. ..., . .,,,,: : , ,. , : ::::::: :. ..., .. ..,,::: :: . , : ::::::: :. ...: ,,:,:::,: : ,. , : :.: ::::::: : , , . .,,,:::::, .,,:,., : , : :, : :::,::: , . .,:::,, ::. .. , : ,,: . , :::::: , . , , ,,: :, ,,,. . . :,,: ::::::: , ,: ,...,: : , , : , ::: ::::::: : . : ,,,:.,,.,: ,, : ,: ::::::: : :::::: : , : , , ,,: ,: :,. ...,: :::::: , : , : .. .,, ,. .,: ::::::: :, , . : : ,....., , .,:: :::::: :. , : ,....,,: :. ...,,: :::::: :. , , :. : ,, , ....,:: :::::: :. , : ,. : .. .., ., , : :. ..,.,:: ::::: :. ,: : , .,.: ..: :: :: , ,,,,:: :::: : :. ,: : . . . .: . , .,,,: :::: :. .: : ,.,, .: . ,,,, :::: : :. .: : , ,:, ,:: . .: :. : : ,::,: : :::: :. .: :.,. . ,., . . . .::: :::: :. .: ,::. .,:,: : . : .: . : ::: :. ,: ,,: .,:, :. , . : : . .: : : :: :. ,: :,,, ..,::, ,: : ::,: . : :: :. ,: .,,... ,,:, . :. . : , : .

*<* }}}}}}*<~~~<<~* * ~ ~<* * }*} }}}}}}}*<<<***<< ~<} ~} } < *} }}}}}}*******<< ~<} ~<} * }* ~ }} }}*******~} ~<}} ~}*<** } } * <} }}}******<~* ~< ~ ~*<~~~} }* < * <} } }*****}*~< ~ ~<}~ <*~~ } * <} }***}}*<~* ~ ~<}~ ~ ~ < *< }} * * } ~* }}*}**<* ~ ~<}* <<~~ ~*} *~ } ~* }}*****}}* ~<} ~~~}}} }} } ~} }}***~ ~<*}} ~<*} *}***}} }* < }**~ ~<*} ~~ <<**<* ** * ~} }< ~<**} <}*}}}} }} *< < * }< ~<**}} ~}}*~*} ~ }}*<} <} *< ~<*** }* *} ~ <*}} * }*~ ~<*** ~ * < *~~*} < ~~~ ~*}}} < }*~ ~<***} ~< ~ < } } * * *< < }*~ }} ~ < * < <~} } }}< }}}}}}} ~} }*~ ~}}~~} ~ ~ ~ } ~ < ~< *< }*<<<***}*}***}}} ~~* }*<~ }~ } ~~<~ *~ ~~ } ~~ < ~ *< < ~<} *<* }**<~~~~<<<*******} ~* }*<~ }~~<~ *}< <* ~}* *< }* ~< *< * *<<<~ ~~<<*****}} } ~* }*<~ } * ~<}<~** ~<~*< ~} *~ <<} *<~ *<<<~~ ~ ~~~<* }}}}} ~~* }*<~ } < <* } }}} } }<<< ~** < }<~<<<~~ <**} }}}}} ~~* }*<~ * } ~<* <~* *<} *<**<<<~ ~<} }}}}} ~* }< * } < ~} *<< ~ }<****<<~ ~<} ~ ~* }< ~ *~ }} * * }*<* }* }*<****<~ ~~<} ~~* *< ~} }* <~ ~} }}<< ~ *<<****<~ ~~< ~<} }*< ~** < ~ < }<~ < } }<<<***<< ~~~*} } ~~< }*< <}*~ } } } * } <* ~ <~<*<<<<~ ~~~<* }}} ~ ~* }*< <}}} < < < ~ <} < *} }*< <~<*****<~ ~~~~~~* }}} ~~~* *< <*}}< <~}< <<} ~} * } }< *~<**}}}*<~ ~~<<~~~* ~ < }< <}}*}< ~<*~ ~} * ** < <<<*}}}}*< <<<~~~~* * ~ * *< <****} *~~~ ~*} ~ ~ ~ < } *<*~~ *~**}} }< ~~<<<~~~~* }~ ~ ~} *~ <****}}}}}**~ < } < ~}<*~ }*} *<<*}} }< ~~~<<<<~~~<<} } }< ~ < *~ <******}**}}} ~<} }} ~~ ~ << ~}~< ~< ~} ~ *}<*} <<*}} }*~ <<<****<<~~<<} }}} * ~ ~} }*~ <***********} ~} * } ~ <~ ~<} *<*}<}< * * <<< *<*}} }~ *******<~<~~<<} } }~ ~ ~* }*< <***********}* ~} }~} }< < ~~} * <~ } * *<} < ***}}}**<~<<~~<} }<

joVUU Vjjj U o jV UojjVjUU U U UVUo VVVVVVVVoooojjoojjooVUVUVUUVVVVVVUU U UVVj oVo joVU Uoj V j o jo joo jUU UojoV UVVVoVVoVVooooVooVVU UVUVoooUU U UUVoVj VVoo jooVU UVoo j V j jo jjVjoV o UUVUUj V UVVoVVoVVVVooVVUU UUUV UVooVoV oVo jooVoUU UVojjjj jVo j jj UUVo jVj UVoooVVoooooVU UVVVVo oVo jjoVVU Uoojj U j joVVj o VoojU UV UVVVooVVVVVVUUUU U U U UVVVVVo oVo jjVVU Vojjj j j U jjVo ojj VoUoVjoo V VoVoVVVVU UUUUUUUU U UoVU VoVoooVo joj ooUUU VVVoooooj o V j Vj o UVUUU jVo j oVoooVVU UVVUU VUVV VVoVooooojoj jj joVUU UUUVVVVUUUoj joj o UVoVUUoj VUVoooooV UoVoVV UVUUVVVUVVoooooVo oo oVUUUUVU UU UVj j ojoV j V o UVVVVooVU UUVooVU UVUVUUUVVoVoVVj oVV VVU U UVojjjj jV UUUoV Vo UooVUUUU UUVooVoUU U UUUUUo V jVV U VVoooVooj j oUVo U ooUj Uj VU U UUVVVVVVVVVVUU U UU V U VUU U UUU UUVooooVVVoj UU o VU ojj V V U VUUUU UVUVVUUU U UUUUVU V V U UUU UUUVojoooVVUoj VVVU V U o UV UUUVVVVU UUUU UU VUUUUU VVUVU VVjjjjooVVVj o V UV U j U UUU U UUVVUVU UUU U UUUVUUV jVV U UVojjjooooo j joj V U j Uo o V UUVVUU UUUVUUUU UUUUVUVV jVU UUVooojoooj o j Uj j jj j UUUVVooVVVUU UUUVVVVVVVVoooVVVUUUUUUUUVoV jVVU UVooVVooj j Vo oU V jU o o U o U UUVVoj joojojjjjjjojjoVoVUUUUU UVoojo ooV VVooVojj j o o V j U V U VVVjj jjjjooooVUVUUUUUUVVooo ooUU UVooVoj o U j o V Vj U Vj joVVojooVVoVVVVVVoojjo VVV ooooooj j j Uj j Uoo UUo oU V j Uoj jooooooooVVVoVooj jjjo ooU U UVoooojjj jV j U j U V U U Vj jVVojoooooVVVooj j oVV U UUUoojjjjjj V UV jUUVj oVo j Vo j V j ojj o o oojoooooVVVoj j oVU UVoojjjjjj V oj U U oj j UV Vj ooVVVooVVoo jj ooVU UUUVojjjoooj j Uj U V j U j o V o ojoVoooVVoojjjjjjj ooU U UUVojjjoUVj U Uj o j V jjoooVoVoojjjjoooo ojV UUUVoojoVVVo o U U j o jjjooooooojjjjjoojj VoUU UUVUUUVojooVo U o U U jjoooooojjj jjoooj jVoUVVVVVVVUVVoooooo o j V V j j j jjjooooojj jooooo oVVUUUUUUUUUVojoooVo j o jV Uo j U UjU o jjjooooo jjoooooo VVUU UVojjooVoj j o U V U Uj V jjjoVVojjjjjooooooj jVoUUU UUVoojooVoj o o V j jjjVooojjjjooooooj oUUU U UVUojoojoVoj j U UUV o jjj jojooojjjjjoVVooj Uo VoojjoVVoj o U V jU j jUj V jjj oooojj jjjoooVoo jUU UooooVVoj V jo oVV j V o j jjo ojoj jjoooVVoj VV UVVooooo Uj UV o j o jo jooj o o jooo jjjj jjooVVVVVo oU UVVooooj o V j VU U U U jj j V j j o jjoVUVj ojojjjooVUVVVo

W K&&MWMWWWWMM&K & W &&MWMWWWWMM& K & &MWWWWWWMM&K K K K K &&MMMWMM&&M&K K KK & KMWWWWWWWWWWWW&KK KK K&MWWWWW&MWW W& KK KK &W& WWM K& K WW WMM W K&KMK WM KKKKKM&M MKK K &WWMMWMW& MW&&WWWWWMWK WM K M WWWWWWWW MM&KMWWWWM& M&M KMWWWW MWW&&&KWWM& MK &WWWM &M& WM &M KK & MM KW KKK& K MM&&K K M KKKK&K W KWW KK KK && K WW KWW& K KK &W WWWMMWWWWM & && M& W& KWWWWMW& K WWW& M& &WWM K &&&MM KK WWWW WWWWM WWWWWW WWWMWW WWWWWWWWK MMWWWWW&W& W&WWWWWWWWW& WWMW&&&MMM& W WKMWMMM&WWW&&WM WW MK&& KKKK& KW M K&KKKK& & MWK & &WMW K K && W WWW M K W W WWWWWWWMW MWWWWWKW W&WWWWWWMWWWW W WWWWWWWWW WW W WW MW W WW WW W WK WW M W WWW W M & K&W

: , . , , , : : : . ,, : :: . . , :: : ,, :: : ::: : ,:,,,,. , : . ::: .. . : :, , . ::: , :..,: ::: :, .: . ::: :, . : ..: :: : . : . :: :: : ., : . :: : : . :: . , . : : ,. :: , , . : ., , , , . , : . . ., . .. , . . . , :::, :. .. ,, :::: : , : :,., , . . , : .,,:::::: .: : . , ,. : , : : : : ., . ...,, :::: . .. : :,. :,. : . : .,: ,. : :.. ,,::, ,: ::, :::,:,::,, ..,, ,,,. ,: ::.. .,,.. . . .. , . .... ,. ,, . , : : : . , . : :: :.: ::,: . . . : . . ,,,::: :,

* }}*<*~ ~ * }}**< ~< *< * ~ ***< <~ < * * } < }}*} ~ <~} } * ~ ~}} * ~ * }< *< ~ <}< < ~ ~<*}} } }< ~ ~ ~ * ~< < ~ *~~*}*} } }< < <} * }}* ~} ~ <<~ } *} } ~ < < * }**< ~} ~ ~< } * * <**~ ~} ~ ~ ~}** < * <*** <~ } < ~ }}<< } * *} < < }<} * <<~ } ~ } }~ ***}} <}} <~< < <} ***<< } < }~ ****} <~<< }< * } <} }}}<<< < ~ } ~**<*} ~~ }< * << * < *}}<<<< * * ~<<<<* ~}~~** *<* ~ * ~} }<~<<< } * }< ~~~<~~< ~~ } * * * }*~~<~~< < } < ~~ < *} <*~ ~~~ < } } }}} }} *< ~ } }< }}}}}}<~ <}*< **< ~ ** ~ }* ** ****}}* * ~< <}}*< ~~~~<~ } <~ ~*<*<< < < ~~~ ~ < * ~ * * ~ }}}} * }*} } * < ~~ ~ *} <~ ~ * ~ * < < ~ } *} }* } < <**~~ } ~ <<****<~~ ~ ~ * * ~ }~ < ~

jVVj U o UojV UUUV VooojjjoUUVooVUUUVjUj joVVVj j oooV UVVVj UUoooooUUUUUUVUUUVoo j joVVjjj jUVV VoVo oooUUVVVVU UoVUVjoj oVVVV V j jjV UUVo UooU UojoUU UVVVojo o VUUVVooVo j VoU o UUVUVoVVVVV UUUUUVVUV oVVUVjjVo Uo U oUUU UUUUVVUVVUVVVV jVU ojoj VVV V j UUVojjjVoojoooVVVVj oU Voo o o V V V j o jj UUj joooooojj VUVUojj j j U U U V oooooj oUVVojoj o V V V jooojjj joUVVojVj V U U joojjoo oVVVVojVj j U UV UV jooo joo VVUUVojVj j o VV j j joojjoV VU UooV U jj U o j U jj jj joVV U UVoo V o V o o U VU jjjVUU V ooV U jj jo o jjU joVVUV UoVV V jo V oo U j jV oVVoooVVVU o o j jj V o VVoooooU o V o Uj j jjjj U j jU V o jj j jV j o U o UU o VV U joU o V VVj jjojjUU UUj jjj jjVo oVVoVUV jj V UV j U U VU U jjj j o U U