“What did the cop say to his stomach? Stop! I’ve got you under a vest!”— Anonymous, thoughtcatalog.com
“Why doesn’t anyone want to shave a crazy sheep? Cause it’s a baaaaaaaaaad idea.”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com
“Okay, you are the most full of shit lawyer I've ever met, and I think we should stop and appreciate the magnitude of that statement.”— Douglas Petrie, Lauren Schmidt, Jessica Jones, Krysten Ritter, imdb.com
“Kelso: But I was just amusing myself, you know? And that's the key to life, right? Never stop amusing yourself. Fez: Unless it starts to chafe. Then you should take a week off.”— John Schwab, Fez, Wilmer Valderrama, imdb.com
“Frasier: I asked Dad to get me a bran muffin. You know what he said to me? 'What's the magic word?' Niles: You're kidding. Frasier: He didn't think it was very amusing when I said, 'Rest home!'”— Peter Casey, David Angell, Frasier Crane, Kelsey Grammer, imdb.com
“There are many things in this universe you're not meant to understand. Now, that doesn't mean they're not real. I'm real, and whether other people believe you or not, you know I'm real.”— Steve Pepoon, ALF (voice), Paul Fusco, imdb.com
“My 7yo: Mama, every Friday the 13th I have something bad happen. Last Friday the 13th I got homework.”— Shannon Hale, twitter.com
“She is oxygen, carbon, hydrogen, nitrogen, calcium, and phosphorus. The same elements that are inside the rest of us, but I can’t help thinking she’s more than that and she’s got other elements going on that no one’s ever heard of, ones that make her stand apart from everybody else.”— Jennifer Niven, amazon.com