“Kate Tanner: Has anyone seen my yellow ribbon? ALF: I don't know, what color is it? Ha! I kill me. Brian Tanner: Ha! You kill me.”Tagged: You Kill Me
“ALF: Um, excuse me, sir. Can I have a word with you? Andrew Seminick, Burglar: Who said that? ALF: I did. Could you take some constructive criticism? What you're doing here is wrong. Andrew Seminick, Burglar: [Looks at ALF with a flashlight] Heh heh. Must be one of them talking dolls. ALF: Oh yeah?…”Tagged: Burglar, Intimidation
“[looks through a Viewmaster] Oh, yeah, Sylvester and Tweety! [flips a lever] Yeah! Die, cat, die!”Tagged: Sylvester, Tweety Bird, cat hate
“[ALF is discovered under Willie and Kate's bed] Kate: ALF, what are you doing down there? ALF: Trying to keep warm! The garage is FREEZING! I've been down here the last couple of nights! Willie: [uneasy] Were you here, Sunday night? ALF: [winks] Don't worry, I was sound asleep. Didn't hear a THING.”Tagged: Hiding, didn't hear a thing
“Willie: What are you playing? ALF: [at a video game] Space Invaders. Willie: What do they do? Live in your garage, eat all your food, dig up your back yard? ALF: You're in a mood... Willie: Yes, I am! Because I found my good hoe, in THIS condition! [holds up a pole with a bit of mangled scrap iron…”Tagged: Video Games, space invaders
“Willie: I was going down Fifth Street Road, and instead of taking a left I took a right... ALF: I thought you couldn't turn right down that road, it's a one-way street. Willie: ALF, what difference does it make to you? ALF: What difference does it make? HAH! I'm not driving with you anymore!”Tagged: Driving, Directions
“There are many things in this universe you're not meant to understand. Now, that doesn't mean they're not real. I'm real, and whether other people believe you or not, you know I'm real.”Tagged: amusing, real, Unreal
“Kate Tanner: [after ALF claims that according to a magazine article, he is a thrill-seeker] This from the same person who watched the movie Aliens from under the couch? ALF: Hey, I thought I owed one of those guys money.”Tagged: thrill-seeker, Mob
“ALF: Ignorance is no excuse. Kate Tanner: Ignorance is your excuse all the time! ALF: I don't know what you are talking about.”Tagged: Ignorance, feigning ignorance
“Why are you so intent on moving out of a house that you like, in order for you to continue to do a job you don't like?”Tagged: Bad decisions, House, Job
“Willie Tanner: ALF! Flakey Pete: [walks into the kitchen] Oh. Hi Willie. Willie Tanner: Where is he? Flakey Pete: Who? Your little alien guy? Willie Tanner: If anything... anything has happened to him, you're gonna be... ALF: Hey. Willie. Willie Tanner: ALF! ALF: Willie! Willie Tanner: ALF! ALF:…”Tagged: greetings, Mistaken Identity
“ALF: Why don't you ring up Ann-Margret and get her over here? Aaron King: Sure... I'll just head on over to Graceland and pick up my Rolodex.”Tagged: Ann-Margret, Rolodex, Graceland
“ALF: ELVIS HAS LEFT THE BUILDING! Willie Tanner: That was not Elvis Presley. ALF: Are you kidding?, he was on that sandwich like red beans on rice. Lynn Tanner: He didn't seem like Elvis to me either. ALF: Elvis was a brilliant actor. He could play anything from a singing race car driver to a…”Tagged: Elvis, Elvis Presley, Elvis Has Left The Building
“Aaron King: What do you aliens do all day? Look for dead celebrities? ALF: I'm so tired of that stereotype.”Tagged: Aliens, dead celebrities, stereotypes
“Either he's Elvis, or Priscilla had a heck of a lawn sale.”Tagged: Elvis Presley, priscilla presley, yard sale