“How many Catholic priests does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one usually, unless perhaps it’s high up and somebody else is needed to hold the ladder steady.”— Unknown, tcat.tc
“What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between you and me, something smells.”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com
“What is the resemblance between a green apple and a red apple? They’re both red, except for the green one.”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com
“Two soldiers are in a tank. One looks at the other and says, ‘BLUBLUBBLUBLUBBLUB.’”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com
“‘Doctor, Doctor. I feel like a pair of curtains.’ ‘That’s the least of your worries. You’re HIV-positive.’”— Unknown, tcat.tc
“Why did the mushroom go to the party? It didn’t. Do you know why? Because it’s a fucking mushroom.”— Unknown, tcat.tc
“A Christian, a Jew and a Muslim walk into a bar. After a nice evening, they all leave with a deeper appreciation for each other’s religions.”— Unknown, tcat.tc
“If there are three apples, and Johnny takes away three of them, how many apples does Johnny have? None, because Johnny got hit by a train.”— Unknown, tcat.tc
“Why did the man with no arms fall off his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him.”— Unknown, tcat.tc
“How do you get two whales in a car? You can’t. Whales are enormous creatures and will not fit in something as relatively small as a car.”— Unknown, tcat.tc
“A penguin walks into a bar. The bartender says, ‘So what will it be this time?’ The penguin doesn’t answer because it’s a penguin.”— Unknown, tcat.tc
“If Dave has 50 chocolate bars and eats 45, what does he have left? Diabetes. Dave has diabetes.”— Unknown, tcat.tc
“Two blondes fell down a hole. One said, ‘It’s dark in here, isn’t it?’ The other blonde was dead so she could not respond.”— Unknown, tcat.tc