Quotes tagged ‘Clean Funny’

(35 total)

“I saw a sign that said, 'Watch for children' and thought, 'That sounds like a fair trade.'”

“I'm working with a Russian sound technician. And a Czech one too. A Czech one too.”

“What did the drummer name his twin daughters? Anna 1, Anna 2...”

“Did you hear about the man who stole a calendar? He got 12 months.”

“Why can't you trust a burrito? Cause it will spill the beans.”

“Rock collecting isn’t hard. Just pick it up as you go along.”

“Did you know the stork can’t bring heavy babies? They have to be brought be a crane.”

“How does a penguin build his house? Igloos it together.”

“Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted!”

“What does C.S. Lewis keep at the back of his wardrobe? Narnia business!”

“What is a flat tire's favorite vegetable? A spare, I guess.”

“What do you get when you throw a bunch of books in the ocean? A title wave.”

“What happened to the man who tried to catch the fog? He mist.”

“Boss told me that as a security guard, it’s my job to watch the office. I’m on season 6 but I’m not really sure what it’s got to do with security.”

“My last break up was so tough I started going to church again so I could be around other people waiting for a man to come back.”