Kyle: [speaking to aliens] V-Visitors? This morning you took my brother, Ike. [sad, dramatic music begins playing] He's a little freckled kid that looks like a football. At first, I was happy you took him away, but I've learned something today: That having a little brother is a pretty special thing.…
Catalog
Matt Stone
Matthew Richard Stone (born May 26, 1971) is an American actor, animator, writer, director, producer, singer, and songwriter. He is known for co-creating South Park (1997–present) along with his creative partner Trey Parker, as well as co-writing the Tony Award-winning musical The Book of Mormon (2011). Stone was interested in film and music as a child, and attended the University of Colorado, Boulder following high school, where he met Parker. The two collaborated on various short films, and starred in a feature-length musical, titled Cannibal! The Musical (1993). Stone and Parker moved to Los Angeles and wrote their second film, Orgazmo (1997). Before the premiere of the movie, South Park premiered on Comedy Central in August 1997. The duo, who possess full creative control of the show, have since produced music and video games based on the show, which continues to run. They worked on a feature film titled South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut (1999), which received acclaim from both critics and fans. Alongside Parker, he has also produced various feature films and television series, including Team America: World Police (2004
Stan: Thanks for your help, Wendy. Wendy: Whatever, dude. I promise me you'll be here. Stan: Hey, I didn't throw up. Wendy: Cool! We're always be together. [She's happy now. They both look at each other like they're going to kiss, and romantic music plays. Wendy puckers up. Stan gets queasy and…
Okay, that does it! Now listen! Why is it that everything today has involved things either going in or coming out of my ass?! I'm sick of it! It's completely immature! [Cartman simultaneously farts fire and a satellite dish comes out of his bottom]
Kyle: Well, it looks like she's not going to show up, Stan. Let's go look for the visitors, now. Stan: But her note said she'd be here. [Wendy appears out of nowhere] Wendy: Hi, Stan. want to catch. [Stan sees Wendy, then throws up] Eww! Kyle: You can't talk to Stan, Wendy. He throws up when you do.…
[after seeing a crop circle on the news that looks just like him] Cartman: Hey, that kind of looks like...Tom Selleck.
Kyle: Dude, I have to save Ike! I don't even know what to do! Stan: Well, we can't do anything now; that fat bitch won't let us. Ms. Crabtree: [shouts] WHAT DID YOU SAY? Stan: I said, 'Rabbits eat lettuce.' Ms. Crabtree: Oh. Well, yes, they certainly do.
Kyle: [into Cartman's ear] Hey, if you visitors can hear me, bring me back my little brother, goddamn it! Cartman: Ow, that hurt, you buttlicker!
Kyle: Ready, Ike? Kick the baby! Ike: Don't kick the baby! Kyle: Kick the baby. [kicks Ike across the street, knocking over a row of mailboxes]
Ms. Crabtree: SHUT UP BACK THERE! ARRRGGGHHH!!! Stan: Yeah, whatever, ya fat bitch. Ms. Crabtree: WHAT DID YOU SAY?! Stan: I said, 'I have a bad itch.' Ms. Crabtree: Oh.
Chef: [gets out of his car] Hello there, children! Boys: Hey, Chef! Stan: What's going to be for lunch today, Chef? Chef: Well, today, it's Salisbury steak with buttered noodles, and a choice of green-bean casserole or vegetable medley. Cartman: Kick ass.
Okay, that does it! Now listen! Why is it that everything today has involved things either going in or coming out of my ass?! I'm sick of it! It's completely immature!
Stan: Dude, Dolphins are intelligent and friendly. Cartman: Intelligent and friendly on rye bread with some mayonnaise!
Stan: That's impossible! Cartman wouldn't know a rainforest from a Pop-Tart! Cartman: Yeah, I do! Pop-Tarts are frosted!
Kyle: Whoa, Cartman. Talk about wide load. Cartman: Yeah, I'm really starting to fill out nicely. Kyle: You're not filling out nicely, you're fatter than ever! Cartman: I'm not fat! I'm getting in shape! Kyle: Cartman, you're such a fat boy, that when you walk down the street, people go 'God damn…
Cartman: If dolphins are so smart, why do they live in igloos? Stan: Dolphins don't live in igloos! That's Eskimos! Cartman: Dolphins, Eskimos, who cares? It's all a bunch of tree-hugging hippie crap.
Tough Guy: Get some today, and say with me—Beefcake! Cartman: Beefcake. Tough Guy: BEEFCAKE!! Cartman: Beefcake! Tough Guy/Cartman: BEEEFFCAAAAAKE!!! Announcer: May cause irreversible damage to the kidneys and liver.
If dolphins are so smart, why do they get caught in those fishing nets all the time?
Follow your dreams, you can reach your goals, I'm living proof. Beefcake! Beefcake!
Barbrady: Okay people, listen up. As we near the top of the mountain, the chances of our encountering some lava becomes great. Therefore, I have special ordered this training film to assist us in volcano safety. Mr. Garrison, if you would, please? [Garrison turns on the movie projector to watch a…
Stan: I don't want to shoot the bunny. Jimbo: No nephew of mine is going to be a tree-hugger! Cartman: Yeah, hippie! Go back to Woodstock if you don't want to shoot anything!