“Comedians attempting to function as normal people.”— Jerry Seinfeld, Himself - Host, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com
“Tobias: I'm looking for something that says, "Dad likes leather." Sales clerk: Something that says, "Leather daddy?"”— Mitchell Hurwitz, Brad Copeland, Tobias Fünke, David Cross, imdb.com
“What an adventure gang, I thought the homosexuals were pirates. But it turns out they were actors in the local theatre!”— Mitchell Hurwitz, Tobias Fünke, David Cross, imdb.com
“Tobias: Quick question though am I being panicked about the fire or am I being brave for everyone else? Casting director: The fire? It's a fire sale. Tobias: Oh my god, we're having a fire.... sale. Oh the burning, it burns me. Evacuate all the school children.”— Mitchell Hurwitz, Tobias Fünke, David Cross, imdb.com
“In this business of show, you have to have the heart of an angel and the hide of an elephant.”— Mitchell Hurwitz, Tobias Fünke, David Cross, imdb.com