“I'm automatically attracted to beautiful women — I just start kissing them, it's like a magnet. I don't even wait. And when you're a star, they let you do it. You can do anything… Grab 'em by the pussy.”— Donald Trump, nbcnews.com
“Every time I see a newborn, I'm reminded of how rare and beautiful it is to look into the face of someone who's never heard of Trump.”— Conan O'Brien, twitter.com
“It’s tough this year. I’m worried Hillary’s a liar, and I’m worried Trump’s not.”— Conan O'Brien, twitter.com
“Who do you think Hillary’s going to choose for her VP? I mean, she already told ME who it’s going to be, but who do YOU think?”— Stephen Colbert, twitter.com
“Wow, Donald Trump really looked presidential in Mexico. Might want to stay there!”— Stephen Colbert, twitter.com
“Just 62 days out from the election, and 135 days until Obama resumes smoking in public.”— Stephen Colbert, twitter.com
“The question they have to ask themselves is: If you are repeatedly having to say in very strong terms that what he has said is unacceptable, why are you still endorsing him?”— Barack Obama, nytimes.com
“The American government is a very volatile, dangerous mechanism, and Hillary has the most experience with it. It’s like if you were on a plane and you wanted to choose a pilot. You have one person, Hillary, who says, ‘Here’s my license. Here’s all the thousands of flights that I’ve flown. Here’s pla…”— Louis C.K., vulture.com
“Knock knock. Who's there? Ivana. Ivana who? Ivana jump off a bridge. #Election2016”— Bob Kevoian, twitter.com
“What it means is that we are all sick and tired of seeing unarmed people shot by police officers, That young people in African-American communities are harassed by police officers, where police departments are not there to be supportive but are in many cases oppressive, and that’s an issue that has…”— Bernie Sanders, hollywoodreporter.com
“To put that into perspective, there are more mentions of LeBron James, yoga and NBC’s Saturday Night Live than the Russian Nuclear Agency in Clinton’s emails deemed ‘official.’”— Peter Schweizer, politico.com
“Clinton signed documents declaring she had turned over all of her work-related emails. We now know that is not true.”— Peter Schweizer, politico.com
“Break classification rules for the public's benefit, and you could be exiled. Do it for personal benefit, and you could be President.”— Edward SnowdenVerified account, twitter.com
“Fiction can remind us — and because of the blood-sport nature of politics, we constantly need reminding — that the players in politics are first human beings.”— John Williams, nytimes.com
“It cannot be emphasized enough that neoliberalism is not classical liberalism, or a return to a purer version of it, as is commonly misunderstood; it is a new thing, because the market, for one thing, is not at all free and untethered and dynamic in the sense that classical liberalism idealized it.…”— Anis Shivani, salon.com
“The system is rigged. I watch Bernie Sanders win every night. And everyone says he can’t win. He wins and he wins and he wins. But because Hillary has these super delegates, she is 'winning.'”— Donald Trump, foxnews.com
“Bernie Sanders has been treated terribly by the Democrats—both with delegates and otherwise. He should show them and run as an Independent.”— Donald Trump, twitter.com