“Florida is so hot that when old people retire and move to Florida it’s because they want to start practicing for hell.”— Unknown, tcat.tc
“They call Florida the ‘Sunshine State,’ which is funny because in the twelve years I lived here, it was only sunny for like twenty minutes—when the eye of the hurricane passed over my house.”— Unknown, tcat.tc
“The only difference between Florida and an oven is that an oven doesn’t produce serial killers.”— Unknown, tcat.tc
“As much as I'd like to see the two of you living it up in a warm, tropical setting, I, I would just miss you too much. So I've decided I want you to stay.”— Peter Mehlman, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com
“After Florida, Virginia is the fastest growth market on the East Coast.”— Jim Brown, successories.com
“Is Florida not hot and muggy enough for these people? They love heat. I mean if they ever decide to land men on the sun, I think these old retired guys would be the only ones that will be able to handle it. They'll just sit there on the sun, on the redwood benches, washcloth on the head going: ‘Clos…”— Larry David, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com
“I have never seen an old person in a new bathing suit in my life. I don't know where they get their bathing suits, but my father has bathing suits from other centuries. My parents live in Florida, and if you go down there and you forget your bathing suits then they want you to wear one of theirs. Yo…”— Larry David, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com
“Here, and also south of us, the beaches have a yellow tint, but along the Keys of Florida the sand is like shattered ivory.”— Denis Johnson, amazon.com