“I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it's terrible.”— Unknown, reddit.com
“I have an EpiPen. My friend gave it to me when he was dying, it seemed very important to him that I have it.”— Anonymous, reddit.com
“When parents say to kids go to ur room & think about what you've done it's really good practice for what you'll do every night as an adult.”— Pat Tobi, twitter.com
“I'm just a girl, standing in front of a salad, asking it to be a donut.”— Unknown Meme, onsizzle.com
“I wish I could text my dog when I wasn't at home with her. Tell her I miss her. See what she's doing. Ask her to take a selfie for me.”— Violet Benson, Violet Benson, instagram.com
“If I was stuck on a desert island with only one record, I would want it to be the record for being able to swim the farthest.”— Guy Endore-Kaise, twitter.com
“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.”— Theodor Rosyfelt, quoteinvestigator.com
“I want pizza. But I don’t wanna pay for pizza. I need a pizza daddy. A papa John if you will.”— Violet Benson, instagram.com
“People say go big or go home, as if going home is a bad thing? Like hell yeah I wanna go home, and I’m gonna take a nap when I get there.”— Josh Ostrovsky, instagram.com
“The best thing about trying to name a baby is realizing how many people you hate.”— Brian Gaar, twitter.com
“Avoid unwanted pregnancies by using the 'pull out' method where you pull out an acoustic guitar at a party & no one will have sex with you.”— Brandon Gutermut, twitter.com
“Ladies: Don't come off desperate and reply quickly to your crushes texts. Wait a while. Meet someone else. Get Married. Start a family. Keep him guessing.”— Violet K. Benson, instagram.com