“There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man's notion that he is less savage than the other savages.”— Mark Twain, amazon.com
“His hair was short and parted accurately in the middle, and he had all the look of an American person who would be likely to begin his signature with an initial, and spell his middle name out.”— Mark Twain, amazon.com
“Goodbye Hong Kong, I'll never forget the taste of your fish balls in my mouth”— Jenny Mollen, instagram.com
“Saturday! Icing my face with a frozen burrito, swollen from eating popcorn while eating a cookie”— @amyschumer, instagram.com
“For some reason, I was feeling a little off today. But when you came along, you definitely turned me on.”— Rania Naim, thoughtcatalog.com
“I’ve had a lot of people take selfies with me. [After giving a speech and hitting the rope line] it used to be they’d say, ‘I want to ask you about what our nuclear force posture might be. Now they say, ‘can we take a selfie?’ And I say, ‘ of course we can.’ It’s a huge part of the culture.”— Hillary Clinton, nbc.com
“It is the ability to take a joke, not make one, that proves you have a sense of humor.”— Max Eastman, amazon.com
“ya know what’s kind of weird? some people name cats ‘whiskers.’ that’s a cat’s body part. that’s so wild. i’m gonna name my son leg.”— hatchibomitar, hatchibomitar.tumblr.com
“I wish George Washington could visit our time and punch Donald Trump in the face.”— Anonymous, history-jokes.tumblr.com
“Tell him you’re excited to have his last name and then marry his brother.”— Anonymous, emperorroxanna.tumblr.com
“When I look at myself in the first grade and I look at myself now, I’m basically the same. The temperament is not that different.”— Donald Trump, nytimes.com
“should designers be coders? should design coder? hould des coder hou des oder houdesoer hodesor hodor”— Frank Chimero, twitter.com