“Do not talk to your mother and father when you’re crying. Because what happens is, your mom has the ability to make you weep even more, and your dad makes you feel like a fucking idiot.”— Dane Cook, youtube.com
“Giving advice to an idiot is very much like gifting dildo to a girl... You know they need it but they will throw it in your face and call you a weirdo instead.”— pddpro, reddit.com
“You don’t look too bright. I got a son, stupid as a man who bought his stupid at a two-for-one sale, and you remind me of him.”— Neil Gaiman, amazon.com
“You blithering idiot! You festering gumboil! You fleabitten fungus! You bursting blister! You moth-eaten maggot!”— Roald Dahl, amazon.com
“Rachel: ‘You idiot!’ Chandler: ‘I’m sure you’re right, but why?’”— Chandler Bing, Rachel Green, amazon.com