“It feels restful. It feels like the kind of place where you can truly be the person you are becoming now, not the person you were in the past.”— Apartment Therapy, apartmenttherapy.com
“What am I, a fucking eagle? I have been reduced to reading tl;dr versions of a fucking tweet because I can’t read the tweet in question.”— Drew Magary, gq.com
“Gritty is the visual and physical embodiment of the epic troll: weird on purpose, both frightening and idiotic, at turns lovable and violent, so 'on brand' as to be stubbornly memorable even when you’d rather forget.”— Ken Layne, hazlitt.net
“boarding order: 1st class flyvantage 9000 unobtanium elite cardholders veterans (thanks for your service!) skynet chryogen billionaire club members travelers with kids Verizon GO90 customers flyvantage 7500 goldlife partners YouTube Red subscribers folks wearing UNIQLO™ group A”— Ryan Gantz, twitter.com
“No offense, I just feel like a dead nun or Samara from 'The Ring' is going to pop out of the corner at any moment.”— Matt Stopera, buzzfeed.com
“I just don’t think we should let Chapman go on a ride where you end up in hell at the end, Maria.”— Mara Wilson, mara.substack.com
“Often times consumers, such as myself, don’t have the gall to commit to a family-sized box of what could potentially be an inedible disaster. But I decided to take one for the team.”— Ben Bertoli, kotaku.com
“Why did she, a real estate professional, decide to stage the house with BDSM gear and a sex swing? Does a viral listing sell more quickly?”— Dan Kois, slate.com
“But mostly, my favorite things are to confuse, challenge, and destroy. I like to plague my hosts, and I like to watch them suffer. Is that bad? Maybe.”— Edith Zimmerman, thecut.com
“every day my boyfriend has a grapefruit for breakfast and texts me a rating of it out of 10 and i really regret not keeping a spreadsheet”— Jacob Geers, twitter.com
“If you, like most people, were horrified at the stalking, the masturbating-in-bushes, the gaslighting, and the murdering that Penn Badgley’s Joe Goldberg considers romantic gestures for his one true love, congratulations! You, like most people, are normally calibrated.”— Ella Cerón, thecut.com
“Wallpaper is the gateway drug to hiring a contractor to rip your entire house apart and redo everything. It’s like swallowing the blue pill. You can never go back.”— Kelle Hampton, kellehampton.com
“Considering you’re the kind of person who took the time out of your work day to write an article about Nancy Pelosi’s coat, you definitely don’t have what it takes to make it out there.”— Carrie Wittmer, thebelladonnacomedy.com
“Getting married at 23 is all fun and games until you realize that you should have waited until your spouse could afford a ring from somewhere other than Claires.”— John Duda, bookofduda.com
“You don't wear makeup, I don't get yeast infections, bitch. Take it or leave it.”— Olivia Gatwood, itunes.apple.com
“Deflecting compliments is one of the fundamental tenets of womanhood and I would be interested in learning how to accept one.”— Julia LaSalvia, mcsweeneys.net
“Taking food out of the Tupperware before heating it up. Did you know you were supposed to do this? I did, but also, I’m hungry.”— Meghan Nesmith, manrepeller.com
“When they say it will take 20 minutes, but you know that shit is going to take hours.”— Maritsa Patrinos, buzzfeed.com