“I have never had to be brave. Bravery is for parents and people who get tattoos in another language or dare to eat pinkish chicken.”— Scaachi Koul, amazon.com
“Jenna tried to take deep breaths and lose herself in the normally calming wave motions of the stingray exhibit. But the wave of nausea followed by the smell of penguin poop kept wafting into her nostrils, telling her to get out now! There is no time!”— Reductress, reductress.com
“As you can see, nothing about me has changed. I’m still the same girl who drove you crazy with her desire to speak up. And yet — you’re still tuning in.”— Maggie Lakes, medium.com
“Fun historical note: just beyond that bathmat is the site of the famous potty misfire of last Tuesday!”— Elizabeth Preston, mcsweeneys.net
“Food-wise, this potluck will end up being mostly chips. But, don’t worry, I’ll be sure to clear fridge space for all the bodega six-packs, which is what most of you will contribute.”— James Folta, newyorker.com
“As I creep closer towards 30 years old I’m finding myself researching the best kind of coffee bean to buy and whether or not this Cuisinart is a machine that can brew me a solid cup. I need to get a life.”— John Duda, bookofduda.com
“look I get it now, I understand that god had to give me a broken brain because if I didn't have an existential crisis every time I need to make a small decision and/or complete a very simple task, I would be too strong”— Katie Mather, twitter.com
“That white coat would get so dirty so fast, it’s giving me anxiety just thinking about it.”— Emilia Petrarca, thecut.com
“It is said that, in the very beginning, before the zodiac ruled us all via astrology meme accounts and monthly horoscopes, it was many gods and goddesses that ruled the earth and heavens.”— Sarah Barnes, manrepeller.com
“Thankfully the tweet has calmed down and the internet has gone back to ignoring me.”— Ali Resuta, buzzfeednews.com
“I think having a beer in the shower is a little stupid, but there's nothing wrong with being a little stupid.”— Auriyana Jackson, youtube.com
“It’s not clear yet whether Wohl actually reported those fake threats to the Minneapolis police, or whether he just created the account to put the threats in the video later.”— Will Sommer, thedailybeast.com
“every time I google my symptoms i’m either: a) about to get my period b) pregnant c) allergic to existing d) have cancer”— Meghan Rienks, twitter.com
“Tell us about a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did your wealthy parents make that problem go away?”— Ali Solomon, thebelladonnacomedy.com
“Would he rather work for Apple or Trump? Either, the longtime salesman says.”— Quinn Myers, melmagazine.com