“Sometimes I start a sentence and don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way.”— Michael, amazon.com
“Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.”— Michael, amazon.com
“Can I just say that of all the idiots in all the idiot villages in all the idiot worlds, you stand alone, my friend.”— Michael, amazon.com
“By the end of the fourth grade, the lunch lady was actually the person I hung out with the most.”— Michael, amazon.com
“One thing you need to know about me, I don't quit, until something tears or pops.”— Dwight, amazon.com
“Pam: 'I could give a shit about your happiness. Stop dating my mother!' Michael: 'You know what, I'm gonna start dating her even harder!'”— Michael And Pam, amazon.com
“It is exactly 12:23. The exact moment you emerged my your mothers vaginal canal.”— Dwight, amazon.com