"It is exactly 12:23. The exact moment you emerged my your mo..." — Dwight

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It is exactly 12:23. The exact moment you emerged my your mothers vaginal canal.

— Dwight

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One thing you need to know about me, I don't quit, until something tears or pops.

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Whenever i'm about to do something, I think. 'Would an idiot do that? And if they would, I…

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There's too many people on this earth, we need a new plague.

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When I see someone smile at me all I see is a chimpanzee begging for its life.




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