“It is exactly 12:23. The exact moment you emerged my your mothers vaginal canal.”
More from Dwight
“One thing you need to know about me, I don't quit, until something tears or pops.”
“Whenever i'm about to do something, I think. 'Would an idiot do that? And if they would, I…”
“There's too many people on this earth, we need a new plague.”
“When I see someone smile at me all I see is a chimpanzee begging for its life.”