“My wife gets upset when I steal her kitchen utensils... But it's a whisk I'm willing to take.”— Scottish_Hot_Rod, reddit.com
“My friend asked me why I always use pokemon puns. My only response was "Wynaut?"”— redmaddic, reddit.com
“I dreamed I drowned in an ocean made of orange soda. When I woke I realized it was just a Fanta sea.”— MelkorHimself, reddit.com
“Jupiter heard from Neptune that Pluto was pregnant. Jupiter said to Pluto "Congratulations! I was surprised to hear that you're expecting!" To which Pluto replied "Thanks. Yeah, I definitely didn't planet!”— CooperRAGE, reddit.com
“I never win any awards or trophies because my dentist told me I should try to avoid plaque buildup.”— Donnerschildkroete, donnerschildkroete.tumblr.com
“Why does Santa Claus have no children?Answer: because he only comes once a year!”— Unknown, immortalisvita.tumblr.com
“What did the Spanish cop say to the other Spanish cop? ‘Police Navidad!”— Nicola Masters, 365badjokes.tumblr.com
“Where do they celebrate Christmas in Star Wars? In a galaxy fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la away.”— Nicola Masters, 365badjokes.tumblr.com
“In every generation there is a chosen one. She alone must face the elves, the reindeer, and the forces of Christmas. She is the sleigher.”— the-uterus, the-uterus.tumblr.com
“A couple is walking in St. Petersburg Square on Christmas Eve. They feel a slight precipitation. ‘I think it’s raining,’ says the man. ‘No, it’s snowing,’ replies the woman. ‘How about we ask this Communist officer here? He is always right!’ exclaims the man. ‘Officer Rudolph, is it raining or snowi…”— Unknown, reddit.com
“i don’t understand why people think that depression goes away on holidays?? like ho ho ho I’m still feliz navidying”— outer-space-howell, outer-space-howell.tumblr.com