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Quotes tagged ‘Reddit’

(276 total)

Guy I'd been dating for about the last 6 months dumped me via text on Monday to go back to his ex. I didn't even know she was still in the picture. Sadness ensued.

— PeggyOlson225, reddit.com

He sort of tried at the beginning like he was trying to make me have an orgasm, but then would just focus entirely on himself, never made me come first (never made me come at all, I had to do it myself). And he would 'borrow' things from my apartment without asking (still hasn't returned them). Pret…

— sunnysidevegan, reddit.com

Went out with a guy for a few weeks, and he would tell me about how he could make girls come 3 or 4 times within one session, blah blah. The last time we had sex, let's just say his dick spent a lot of time in places that didn't do anything for me. Never came, he didn't even try. Then a few days lat…

— plscanunot, reddit.com

OH MY GOD. I had a week between dates with this guy and we hadn't really been successful at sex the first time. We spent the week apart talking a bit about kinks/what we liked and he said some nasty shit to me that I really liked. Like spent a whole week working me up about what he was gonna do to m…

— olivia928, reddit.com

Pretty much the last 3 dates I've had off tinder. Specifically the last guy. He talked a big game about how good he was with girls and how he had sex everyday and had 2 girls that kept coming back to him. I'm not looking for anything serious so we hung out. He was awkward af and pretty dumb. I actua…

— my-psyche, reddit.com

He told me about his children that he hasn't seen in a year. And I actually thought he seemed like a super lovely person prior to that.

— SnaquilleOatmeal, reddit.com

This guy who lead with how great my ass was, then spent an hour bragging about his car and the house he bought his mother. So basically you want in my pants and think I only care about money? Fantastic.

— theresaname, reddit.com

It was several months ago. I had gotten out of a long term relationship a few months prior so I was just sort of looking to see what was out there. This guy that I met was absolutely terrible in bed. I actually never even had sex with him because the foreplay was a nightmare. He was fingering me and…

— freeaccountant, reddit.com

Contracting herpes from a guy who gave me mediocre oral sex and no PIV.

— greentea14, reddit.com

I didn't date the guy but we hooked up a few times, he was one of those 'my dick is big so I don't need technique' types. When he went down on me he literally spat on my vag, slobbered all over me, and then started fingering me like a jackhammer while asking if I was going to cum.

— Korsola, reddit.com

We went on a second date to the movie theater. The local theater offers free refills on their biggest size popcorn buckets. My date reached into a trashcan and pulled out a large bucket and got it refilled. I didn't eat any of the popcorn and he didn't get another date. Ugh.

— Erin_woah, reddit.com

It was at the tail end of the relationship with my ex, he really wanted to have sex and I just couldn't think about anything but breaking up with him. He threw a hissy fit (pouted, wouldn't let me touch him at all, took the blankets, made shitty comments) so I eventually relented. I figured it would…

— ActualSquid, reddit.com

I'm laying on the surgeon's table naked. I can feel the doctor digging around in my body, the anesthetic didn't work, I'm unable to move or speak but I can feel everything.

— cr4zy_b3autiful, reddit.com

Nearing the end of my life, I saw a faraway light and felt a faint warmth. As the light drew closer, the warmth became a burning heat, and I realized I wasn't destined for Heaven after all.

— ShutainzuGeito, reddit.com

I was in a store the other day admiring some handbags, I thought it was cute how they were made to resemble cats and covered in fur and with the heads and everything. That is until I seen a very distinctive heart shape in the fur on one of the bags, odd how it resembles my cat who went missing last…

— cr4zy_b3autiful, reddit.com

The floor beneath me creaked and I could see his eyes glance in my direction. But he'd been sitting in front of the computer for so long, he wouldn't see me crouched in the darkness.

— Argonautica, reddit.com

'So what was the murder weapon?' the detective asked the medical examiner. "I'm not sure,' he replied, 'all these scratches...they're, they originated from inside him.'

— WAWDoing, reddit.com

My wall clock went counter-clockwise for eight seconds. Since then I haven't seen a single human on earth in over a month.

— necrorat, reddit.com

When my grandfather retired from being a coal miner, I asked him what was the scariest part of his job, thinking he'd say cave ins or deadly gas. Instead he just let his gaze wonder off to the side in silent surrender while he quietly revealed, 'There are things that live at the bottom of this world…

— WAWDoing, reddit.com

My neighbor, Maggie, has lots of those porcelain masks in her house. It was only when she mentioned that one of her family members passed away, that I would notice a new one had been put up on her wall.

— Thexthy, reddit.com

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