“I have this friend—she’s a polyamorous molecular biologist who’s into extreme BDSM (obviously). Recently, she told me that she regularly masturbates to the idea of men having sex with animals. Despite being generally prepared to hear something extreme come out of her mouth, I was still pretty shocke…”— Karley Sciortino, vogue.com
“I once had a guy tell me that he doesn’t go down on women because he’s a germaphobe. Are you kidding me? How am I supposed to relax and feel good about myself after you basically called my vagina dirty? It’s so much more of a turn-on to be with someone who’s kind of gross—someone who wants to smell…”— Karley Sciortino, vogue.com
“I don’t think we need to file all of our actions under ‘feminist’ or ‘not feminist’—especially since consensual sex kind of exists in a political vacuum: It’s pretty much the one place that we can just do things and move on, no angry think-piece needed.”— Karley Sciortino, vogue.com
“You look at each other, and it’s not weird. You make eye contact on purpose, and it doesn’t freak you out. In fact, it makes you smile.”— Julia Austin, madamenoire.com
“You think less. When it’s over, you realize you were almost in a meditative state—your brain turned off, and it was awesome.”— Julia Austin, madamenoire.com
“It feels more like a team activity than a competition. You’re not doing something to the person or at the person but rather with the person.”— Julia Austin, madamenoire.com
“As well as lots of HOT shagging, you also get the meaning of 'making love', and you do it all the time. You know that it's a vom-worthy term, but you totally get it nonetheless.”— Zara Kenyon, cosmopolitan.com
“You're both down for giving oral sex. Because sharing is caring, and you're as keen to please each other as you are to please yourselves.”— Zara Kenyon, cosmopolitan.com
“Neither of you feel embarrassed by some of the less than sexy sex noises.”— Zara Kenyon, cosmopolitan.com
“Sex is better with someone you love for the exact reason that literally everything is better with someone you love.”— Tom, thoughtcatalog.com
“The thing I noticed the most about having sex with someone I loved for the first time was that there was real humor and happiness involved. Like, we joked and smiled the whole way through”— Nathan, thoughtcatalog.com
“Having sex with someone you love feels like you’ve ‘found’ something. There’s a real sense of discovering something that was missing before, a completeness that you don’t get from random hookups or even with long term lovers that you’re not in love with.”— Luke, thoughtcatalog.com
“You prioritize sex with your lover when thinking about your daily schedule.”— Mathew Guiver, buzzfeed.com
“You say ‘I love you’ when you’re having sex, and frequently when you’re not.”— Mathew Guiver, buzzfeed.com
“Sex happens naturally. You don’t have to force it or schedule it.”— Holly Riordan, thoughtcatalog.com
“You check in regularly with each other to see if the other person is sexually satisfied overall, and if they have any future requests. You withhold judgment during all sex related chats.”— Mélanie Berliet, thoughtcatalog.com
“You don’t have to look or feel your best to have great sex because even when you’re wearing old sweats, sick with a cold, or droopy-eyed following a long day at work, your partner manages to make you feel attractive.”— Mélanie Berliet, thoughtcatalog.com